no, he came in my armpit
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
