Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Let's get the cat blown out
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
