just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
one two three fourrrrnication!
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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