I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
