Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
