remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Randomize
