I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
