Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I am mentally ready for anal.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
