i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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