Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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