just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
