The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
