it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
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