Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
