Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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