She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
