Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
