My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
