bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
