Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
