The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
