problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
send nudes
from the living room?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize