Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
try to milk me bitch
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