we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize