Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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