Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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