Fine. I'll sleep in my office
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
