what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
