you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
