READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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