you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
