FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
