who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
