He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
