he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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