I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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