Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
