i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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