Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
