I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
