my phone needs a breathalizer
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to calm my uterus...
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
