I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
