Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
