well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
