kristin has been a bad kristin
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
