bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cockslap morals
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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