i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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