Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
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