I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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