did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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