Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
