why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
