he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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