does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
