Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
