Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
