I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
